Alured John Deacon Carr

From The History of The Family of Carr of Woodhall, Lesbury, Eshott, and Hetton Volume 3 by R.E. Carr C.E. Carr Rev. T.W. Carr Published 1899 Pages 162-163

In Memoriam: Alured John Deacon Carr, son of Rev. T. W. Carr, deceased 28 December 1888 (Reprinted from the "Barming Chimes," February 1889.)

You may like a few memorial lines on our dear son Alured John Deacon. He was born in our first year here, on 9 August 1866. He was baptized 30 September 1866. In his infancy he had, at Mabledon, London Road, Southborough, Kent TN4 0UH 51.1795, 0.2597, a dangerous fever, after croup, and he recovered, under God, only owning to the loving care he received there, and the devotion of the Nurse, who also nursed him in his last illness.

He was very graceful in childhood, and bright in boyhood. He left Mr. Rose's school at Ramsgate with credit, though after a serious and painful attack of scarlet fever, in which his mother tenderly nursed him. On his recovery he went to Winchester College, College Street, Winchester, Hampshire SO23 9NA 51.05806, -1.31278. The life at a Public School may be very unequal in its hardships and temptations: a boy's position for good or evil depends so much on the character and influence of older ones. Always scrupulous and conscientious, Alured looked back with keen sorrow to any time in School-life when he might have been overborne to what was wrong, or should have stood more firmly.

He left Winchester with an excellent character, in 1884, for the College of Engineers, at Cooper's Hill. Royal Indian Engineering College, now Audley Cooper’s Hill, Cooper's Hill Lane, Englefield Green, Surrey TW20 0JY 51.4402, -0.5701 Here he worked diligently, but seeing that he could not get among the first fifteen who get Indian appointments, he left in 1885, and went to Downton Agricultural College, now North Charford Manor, North Charford Crossing, Breamore, Hampshire SP6 2DS 50.9747527, -1.7581162, with some idea of Canada later on. To his surprise he here took the prizes of his division in April, in Agriculture, Geology, Anatomy, Veterinary Medicine, Book-keeping, Estate Management, Building Construction and Drawing, Practical Chemistry, and Inorganic Chemistry. In August he took the Scholarship, of the College, and was first in Agriculture, Chemistry, Botany, Surveying and Mensuration.

The Professor, in whose house he lived, wrote: "He was not a grinding worker, but always read the newspapers, and was well up in politics and subjects of general interest. The intelligence and memory which he brought to bear upon so many subjects was astonishing." The Vicar of Downton wrote: "He was so simple-minded and earnest in what he did. He was one of those who always attended Holy Communion, and I feel sure that his life, short and quiet as it has been, has not been without its influence for good."

He returned terribly altered after a severe chest attack, not sufficiently noticed, and the assistance which he gave to the cricket eleven that summer, though he ceased to play any but home matches, must have been attended with serious risk.

By the advice of a physician and the kindness of some relatives he went, in 1886, by sea to New Zealand, returning by Tasmania, Australia, and the Red Sea. Though at first better, he failed in the summer and went by Switzerland to pass the winter in Bordighera, Italy 43.783, 7.667 with us. He did not think this agreed with him. It was just the time of life "where two seas met" and buffeted the frail vessel. The growing visitation of a new disease, the utter disappointment in life and uncertainty as to the result, beat upon the poor invalid - neither yet understanding new symptoms, nor resigned to meet the worst. He returned by sea in May from Marseilles, seemed better, and it was a great pleasure to him to be at home. It was settled that he should pass the winter at St. Leonards, but there he grew worse, and it was evident that the end was approaching, with much suffering in the throat and chest, from cough and sickness.

His religious character greatly developed the last few weeks of his life, and he met calmly and trustfully the doctor's announcement that he had not long to live, thanked him very touchingly for his care, and at once made his preparation for the end. On the 12 December 1888 he received the Holy Communion with us and his Godmother, his Mother joining but not being able to be in the same room. On Christmas Morning he appeared sinking, but rallied and passed a cheerful day, with kind thought for others. On St. Stephen's Evening he spoke to his youngest brother, giving him the texts Proverbs 3:6, with James 4:7-8. At 10 P.M. on St. John's Day he thought he was dying and wished us all good-bye, but again he rallied, and did not breathe his last till 1 A.M. on Holy Innocents' Day. He was fully conscious to the end, and wished to hear the continued comfort of his Saviour's promises, repeating part of them himself with whispered voice; that one emphatically "that it may be fashioned like unto His glorious Body." A favourite text had been "Heaviness" ("not much of that," he said) "may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning," and when complaining of extreme weariness he brightened up at the words "Come unto Me, ye that are weary."

He was committed to his last earthly resting place on New Year's Eve, 31 December 1888. The coffin of elm, plainly rubbed with oil, inlaid with a cross of cherry-wood, was made by the husband of his Nurse, in the old play shed. It was placed on the Bier, which we had presented for the use of the Church, and conducted by his cousins and friends, who committed him to the grave. Those present will remember well the touching scene — the plaintive chants of the Choir in the Choral Service, the hymns, the sun setting red over the Southborough Hills, the covering of the coffin with soft earth during the latter part of the Service, the short Evensong; later on, the muffled peal, and then the bells ringing out the old year and ringing in the new. For him the short year of life had ended, and the new year of a blessed eternity had begun.

He left the money which he had prudently saved (with a legacy not used) to his Nurse for faithful service, — to other Servants, — to a sick friend in Tasmania, and to some Convalescent Institutions — and those gifts were offered on Sunday in the Alms Dish which he had had a share in presenting at Easter 1877, after some little self-denial in Lent. We thank God for so good a son, who never caused us anxiety by his conduct, and rejoice in the happy end of his life, so that we truly "sorrow not as those which have no hope," since he has fallen asleep in Christ. May God grant that some young men of his own age may be touched by his example, to use the life which is given still to them for the glory of God, and the good of others.

From British Newspaper Archive: Daily News (London) Monday, 13 August 1866 Page 8 Births

Births: Carr. — Thursday, 9 August 1866, at [The Rectory, Farleigh Lane, Barming, Maidstone, Kent ME16 9LX 51.2587222, 0.4825833], the wife of the Rev. T. W. Carr, of a son.

From MyHeritage England Births and Christenings: A. John Carr

• name: A. John Carr
• gender: Male
• christening: Sunday, 30 September 1866 at [St Margaret's Church, Church Lane, Barming, Maidstone, Kent, ME16 9HA 51.2612538, 0.4639117], England
• residence: Kent, England
• father: Thomas Carr
• mother: Harriet Carr

From Visitation of England and Wales by Joseph Jackson Howard, Frederick Arthur Crisp Volume 7 Published 1899 Page 124

Alured John Deacon Carr, born at Barming Rectory, Kent, 9 August 1866, baptised at Barming 30 September 1866; educated at Winchester and at Downton Agricultural College; died at Barming Rectory 28 December 1888, buried at Barming 31 December 1888.

From MyHeritage: Thomas W Carr In 1871 England & Wales Census

2 April 1871 Census for residents of The Rectory, Barming, Kent, England

• Thomas W Carr, head, married, male, aged 40 [born about 1831], in Clifton, Gloucestershire; Rector of Barming, Landowner County Northumberland
• Harriet Carr, wife, married, female, aged 41 [born about 1830], in Clapham Surrey; Rector's wife
• Alured J D Carr, son, single, male, aged 4 [born about 1867], in Barming, Kent
• 5 siblings, 1 governess, 5 servants, 1 wet nurse

From 1881 Census for Hampshire

3 April 1881 Census for Southgate House, St Thomas, Winchester, Hampshire, England Southgate House, now 8 Edgar Road, Winchester SO23 9SJ 51.058320, -1.319669

• Charles H. Hawkins, Head, Married Male aged 42, born in London, Middlesex, England; Occupation: Chaplain M A F Assist Master Winchester College (School Master)
• Susan Hawkins, Wife, Married Female aged 30, born Cape Of Good Hope
• Alured J.D. Carr, Boarder, Male aged 14, born in Barming, Kent, England; Occupation: Scholar

From The Argus (Melbourne, Victoria) Monday, 28 February 1887 Page 6 Shipping Intelligence. Hobson's Bay.

Hobson's Bay. [probably] Station Pier, Port Melbourne, Melbourne, Victoria, Australia -37.8444, 144.9311 Arrived, Saturday, 26 February 1887.

S. S. Mararoa, 2460 tons J. Edie, from Dunedin Otago Harbour, Dunedin, Otago, New Zealand -45.8317, 170.6294 Sunday, 20 February 1887, Bluff Bluff Harbour, Bluff, Southland, New Zealand -46.59167, 168.33333 Monday, 21 February 1887, Milford Sound Milford Sound, Fiordland, New Zealand -44.64806, 167.90556 Tuesday, 22 February 1887. Passengers — saloon: ... A. J. D Carr,...

From The Daily Telegraph (Sydney, New South Wales) Friday, 1 April 1887 Page 7 Shipping.

The following passengers are booked by the P. and O. Company's R.M.S. Valetta, sailing at noon today, Friday, 1 April 1887, for London, via ports: — For London, from Sydney:... From Melbourne Port of Melbourne, West Melbourne, Victoria, Australia -37.850, 144.900 for London West India Docks, now Canary Wharf, Tower Hamlets, London E14 5FW 51.50347, -0.01722: ... Mr. A. J. D. Carr,...

From FreeBMD: Registration of death of Alured John D. Carr in 1889

January to March 1889: Registration of death of Alured John D. Carr; aged 22 [born about 1867]; in Maidstone (Volume 2a, Page 431)

From British Newspaper Archive: Canterbury Journal, and Farmers' Gazette Saturday, 5 January 1889 Page 8 Deaths

Deaths: Carr. — On Friday, 28 December 1888, at the Rectory, Barming, Alured John Deacon, third son of the Rev. Thomas William Carr, Rector of Barming, aged 22.

From MyHeritage: Probate index 1889

12 January 1889 probate of Alured John Deacon Carr, Esq., of Barming Rectory, Maidstone, Kent, bachelor, who died 28 December 1888, at Barming Rectory, probate granted (administration) at Principal Registry on 12 January 1889 to Reverend Thomas William Carr, of Barming Rectory, Clerk, father, next of kin. Effects £102 8s. 11d.