Elissa Phyllis Alter

ELISSA PHYLLIS ALTER (nee WITEN) Peacefully, surrounded by her family on September 14, 2015, at the age of 68. Elissa will be deeply missed by her loving husband and best friend, David, of 50 years. Beloved mother of Michael and Amy, mother-in-law to Takako and Kirsten. Elissa was predeceased by her parents Marion and Arthur Witen and by her birth mother Gilberte Rousseau. Elissa was proud to be part of the loving Rousseau Family and is survived by sisters Helen, Paulette (George), Therese, and brothers Denis (Juliette, deceased), Paul, Ron (Diane) and Robert and many wonderful nieces and nephews. Born and raised in Ottawa, Ontario, Elissa had a rewarding career with Royal Bank of Canada and was a devoted homemaker, mother, loving wife, community volunteer and a cherished friend of many. Elissa loved gardening; was an avid reader and conversationalist. Elissa was an animal lover and a loyal companion to her "schnoodle" Kilo and all those four legged friends that went before, all of whom brought her daily joy and laughter. Elissa loved travelling with David; entertaining their family and friends with wonderful dinner parties; and was a dedicated volunteer in her community with several charities. Throughout the 13 years of living with Carcinoid-Neuroendocrine cancer, which is a relatively rare form of cancer, Elissa displayed an inner strength and courage and an attitude of optimism which shone brightly on family and friends. Elissa received excellent care from her GP, Dr. Susan Parker, her oncologist, Dr. Simron Singh and her surgeon, Dr. Calvin Law, both at Sunnybrook, her urologist Dr. John D'A. Honey at St. Michael's and Dr. Dan Granberg in Uppsala, Sweden who helped extend her life an additional five years with treatments and Jane Young-On, M.A. We are grateful for caring nurses Suzanne Gardiner, Ursula Sweeney, Yodit Kidanek and Valerie Conversano. Funeral services will be on Thursday, September 17th at 2:00 p.m. at Steeles Memorial Chapel, 350 Steeles Ave. W. (west of Yonge St.) with burial in Beth Tzedec Memorial Park, 5822 Bathurst St. If desired and in lieu of flowers, donations to Carcinoid-Neuroendocrine Tumour Society of Canada (CNETS Canada) or www.cnetscanada.org in memory of Elissa would be appreciated. "What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead" - Nelson Mandela

Wife, mother, banker, party maven. Born on March 9, 1947, in Ottawa; died on Sept. 14, 2015, in Toronto, of carcinoid neuroendocrine cancer, aged 68.

As a 20-year-old newlywed, Elissa gave a perfect dinner party for guests she didn't know, in a new home in an unfamiliar city. Yet she seemed born to the role and would become known as a party-giver extraordinaire.

She met her husband, David Alter, at a party at Carleton University. He spotted her across the room and knew immediately that she would be friendly. A proposal happened that very night and they married a few years later. Although they were the love of each other's lives, there was an amicable divorce. But after remaining close for 10 years, they remarried and stayed together for the next 25 years, until Elissa's death.

They initially settled in Montreal, where David worked as an advertising salesman and where children Amy and Michael were born. There, Elissa launched her 35-year career at Royal Bank of Canada, starting as a teller and working her way up to bank manager, becoming a specialist in opening new branches along the way. She also served as the chair for many of the bank's fundraising events, such as charity walks for Toronto's Hospital for Sick Children and the AIDS Walk.

Elissa had been adopted as an infant and was raised in Ottawa as a precious only child. In her 40s, she sought out her birth mother, whom she eventually met, along with a whole new family – seven siblings, their spouses and many nieces and nephews. It was exciting and slightly overwhelming for her to go from being an "only" to being part of a large welcoming family.

In 2003, Elissa was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer. There was endless treatment, with never a complaint. She accepted this rare cancer with grace and learned all she could. There were trips to Sweden to meet with a world expert. At home, she did fundraising, organized conferences, and inspired and supported others.

She was a meticulous homemaker, which doesn't always go well with keeping pets, but she adored animals. Caring for them gave her great pleasure, especially her last dog, rescue schnoodle Kilo, whom she knew would outlive her.

An optimist who enjoyed meeting new people, Elissa was a wonderful neighbour. She started an annual street sale in her North Toronto neighbourhood and formed a book club by knocking on doors (its members renamed it Elissa's Book Club in her honour).

She liked to bring together friends from her various circles and threw legendary parties with themes such as the Pink Party, the Hawaiian Party and Under the Tuscan Moon. There was always delicious food and drink, clever party favours, and a wonderful time. On her 65th birthday, after a particularly difficult year, she hosted a champagne tea for her many female friends.

Parties weren't just fun for Elissa, they were therapeutic. Perhaps she believed that she might cheat death if a party were in the works. The last one was held two months before she died – a huge barbeque on a perfect July night, with an unspoken theme. We knew, as did she, that this would be her last.